Gummy Beers™ — Brews You Can Chew
Now Available · Summer 2025

Brews
You Can
Chew.

Beer-flavored gummy candy for the sober-curious, the designated driver, and anyone who loves the taste of a cold one — without the morning after.

Alcohol-Free · Vegan · Gluten-Free · Natural Flavoring · Chew Responsibly · Legally Distinct Names · Alcohol-Free · Vegan · Gluten-Free · Natural Flavoring · Chew Responsibly · Legally Distinct Names ·

🛠 Satire disclosure: Gummy Beers™ is a fictional product created for entertainment purposes. It is not real, not for sale, and no gummy bears were brewed in the making of this website. Chew responsibly — but also, this is a joke.

The Lineup

The Starter Six-Pack

Six beer styles, zero alcohol. Each gummy is crafted to nail the flavor profile of a real brew — the citrus slap of an IPA, the roasty depth of a stout, the banana-clove magic of a hefeweizen.

🌾
Sudsy Lad Lager™
Classic Lager
Crisp, light grain, faint floral hops. The crowd-pleaser that goes with everything.
CrispLightCrushable
🍊
Hoppy McHopface IPA™
West Coast IPA
Citrus zest, pine resin, tropical fruit, with a bitter finish that slaps back.
HoppyBitterCitrus
The Dark Knight Stout™
Dry Irish Stout
Roasted malt, dark chocolate, coffee. Rich, velvety, and thoroughly mysterious.
DarkRichCoffee
🍌
Wheaty Boi Hefeweizen™
German Wheat Beer
Banana, clove, soft bread, with a refreshing effervescent tang. Weirdly perfect.
FruitySpicedBready
🍯
Not-ucky Blonde™
American Blonde Ale
Honey, light biscuit, mild vanilla. Easy, smooth, and impossible to dislike.
SmoothSweetHoney
🍋
Sour Pal Gose™
Sour Gose
Tart lemon, sea salt, coriander, with a puckery finish. A genuine face-maker.
SourTartSalty

Shop

Pick Your Pack

Whether you want to dip a toe in or dive straight into the deep end with a keg, we've got a format for every occasion.

Single Pouch
$6.99
3 oz · one flavor
  • Your pick of any flavor
  • Perfect for sampling
  • Pocketable and shareable
Party Keg Bag
$59.99
24 count · mixed flavors
  • Party-sized quantity
  • Mixed flavors throughout
  • Keg-shaped bag (yes, really)
Why Gummy Beers™

Beer taste. Zero regrets.

🔬
Real Flavor Science
Six months of R&D with a certified food scientist to nail the flavor profiles you actually love — from citrusy IPA to roasty stout. We take the gummies very seriously.
🌱
Clean Ingredients
Alcohol-free, gluten-free, vegan, and made with natural flavoring. No morning after. No weird additives. Just genuinely delicious gummy candy for adults.
🎉
For Every Occasion
Designated driver? Dry January? Just not drinking tonight? You deserve to enjoy the party too. Pull out the gummies. Be a hero. Accept the compliments.
⚖️
Legally Distinct Names
Our lawyers worked very hard on this. No major brewery will be suing us. We call this the "close enough to be fun, far enough to avoid a subpoena" naming philosophy.
Reviews

People are chewing responsibly.

★★★★★

"I did Dry January and these got me through three separate brewery birthday parties. Genuinely life-changing."

— Jordan M., Portland OR
★★★★★

"The stout one is genuinely uncanny. I had to check the label three times. No alcohol. What sorcery is this."

— Sam K., Austin TX
★★★★★

"Bought the Party Keg for my partner's brewery-themed birthday. Biggest hit of the entire night."

— Riley T., Denver CO
★★★★★

"As a craft beer lover who's cutting back, this scratches the exact itch I didn't know I needed scratched."

— Alex D., Chicago IL
From the Blog

The Tap Room

Thoughts on mindful drinking, candy science, and why we named a gummy bear Hoppy McHopface.

🍺
Latest Post · June 2025
We Put Beer in a Gummy Bear. You're Welcome.

The world's first beer-flavored gummy candy is here — and it actually tastes like beer. Here's how we got here, why we did it, and what Hoppy McHopface IPA™ tastes like.

Read the full post →
FAQ

Things people ask us

Yes — and that's the part that surprises people most. Six months of R&D went into nailing real beer flavor profiles. The IPA bites back. The stout is roasty. The hefeweizen does the banana-clove thing. We're not playing around with novelty flavoring — we wanted it to actually taste like the real thing.
Zero. Completely alcohol-free. Safe for designated drivers, people in recovery, pregnant folks, and anyone who just doesn't feel like drinking tonight. You can eat the whole Party Keg Bag at 7am and be totally fine. We don't recommend it, but you can.
Excellent question. We wanted to evoke the flavors of real beer styles without borrowing the names of actual brands — because major brewery trademark lawyers are formidable and well-funded opponents. So Hoppy McHopface it is. We think it's better this way, honestly.
Yes and yes. No gelatin. No gluten. Natural flavoring only. We wanted everyone to be able to chew responsibly, regardless of dietary preference. Even the hefeweizen gummy, despite being named after a wheat beer, is entirely gluten-free. Yes, we're aware of the irony.
They're completely alcohol-free, so technically yes — but then you'd have to explain why the gummy bears taste like beer, and that's a conversation we're going to let you navigate on your own. These are designed for adults who miss the flavor. Use your judgment.

Ready to Chew
Responsibly?

The six-pack sampler is the perfect starting point. All six flavors, one box, ships free on orders over $50. It makes an excellent gift for the sober-curious person in your life.

Shop the Six-Pack — $34.99